Author Archives: Sassberto

About Sassberto

The name's Poochie D And I rock the telly I'm half Joe Camel and a third Fonzarelli I'm the kung-fu hippy From gangsta city I'm a rappin' surfer You the fool I pity Kids remember to recycle ... TO THE EXTREME!!!

Become an IT Professional in just 3 months!

The UT is reporting that MicroSkills, a San Diego “certification mill” has closed abrubtly, leaving students out thousands.

Students stunned as school closes

I used to pass by the MicroSkills campus (located in a strip mall on Miramar Road) every day. Mostly I noticed that they seemed to play a lot of hackey-sack in the parking lot.

The funny thing is they are still running their commercials on TV – “Start a lucrative career in IT! Become a certified IT Professional in just 3 months!”. The problem is that the cost of that cert is about the same as the cost of your average 4-year degree at a CSU school!  Never mind that you can get a Microsoft Cert for the cost of a couple thick books and the 400 dollar fee for the exam.

Shadow Glen Knolls at Aviara Mist Ridge

One of my favorite things about Southern California is the ersatz names that tract home developments are given. One day, you have a scrub-covered patch of dirt in the middle of nowhere, the next day, you have “Sierra Hills at Meadow Glen”. Never mind that they paved over the hills to make the guardhouse at the gates, or that the closest thing to a “meadow glen” is your 40 square foot patch of backyard.

Via Curbed LA, here’s your Guide to Suburban Subdivision Naming !

I-Tastic

Local Robber Barron / DotCom magnate Felix Tibs has relaunched seminal I-Business Portal Eyunta.com in a big way!   Not only that, but he’s also joined the ranks of eleven billion pre-teens with a Myspace page!  Don’t forget to add him as a friend!

LA Weekly Detour

This weekend I headed up to Los Angeles for the LA Weekly Detour Street Festival. Saw a bunch of bands including Beck and Queens of the Stone Age.

Check out the pics and enjoy the bullet points below!

Highlights include:

  • Paying 30% over face value on tickets for processing fees, reservation fees, and a $2.50 charge to email the tickets.
  • Riding the LA Metro from Long Beach to Downtown LA via Compton,Watts, and Slauson district. That is one big-ass ghetto! Cholos were throwing signs at the train as we rode past. We were joined by some actual gangsters on the way home.
  • The youngsters are sporting some seriously ridiculous 80’s gear these days. Leggings, hotpants, vests, spray-painted gold shoes? One chick was looking straight off the set of Little House on the Prairie. I don’t understand the steez… what is it supposed to be? I could bust out my Bad Boy Club jams and OP shirt with my gradient-tinted aviator glasses… would that be cool?
  • Beck had a video of the entire band playing.. as puppets. That was cool. Did you know Beck also has songs that aren’t just incoherent gibberish?
  • I was surprised at the number of people making phone calls and texting during a rock show. Best was the hipster doofus with the crackberry… can’t afford anything but thrift store clothes yet he’s rocking the $70/month service plan?
  • Queens of the Stone age put on a good set. Also saw a band called Nortec Collective which was cool trippy techno. Their stage show consisted of three guys with laptops. What were they working so hard on up there… checking their email?
  • It’s really get hard to get drunk on $6 beers… next time we’re bringing some tequila.
  • Hyperactive waitresses before coffee are not funny.
  • After not hearing it for easily 5 years, I heard Extreme’s `More Than Words` twice in two days!

Movie Reviews

Idea blantantly stolen from Elias Vict:

Soylent Green
In the future, the teeming masses live in crowded, filthy squalor – but with swanky 70’s hair!

Amazingly enough this movie is still fun to watch even 30+ years later. Compared to the typical modern sci-fi flick, the pacing is a bit slow and the acting a bit hammy, but there is a lot of depth hidden in the background. The best part of this movie is that food is a central character – lettuce, tomatoes, and beef are rare, coveted items in a world where people live on wafers of “Soylent Red”. My guess – this thing will be remade at some point.

A History of Violence
Mild mannered Viggo Mortensen is not just a family man, he’s a made man!

This is a David Cronenberg movie, but it’s not nearly as weird as what you’d expect from the guy who did Dead Ringers. I liked this movie – it’s a very straightforward examination of the terrible things people do to each other – but most netflix and IMDB reviewers hated it. It’s not for the squeamish, that’s for sure.

Mini-Dorms AKA Student Ghetto

SignOnSanDiego has an interesting article about the problem with “Mini Dorms” in SDSU-adjacent College View Estates, which is near my ‘hood. Basically a Mini-Dorm is best described as “10 college kids in a run-down 2BR rancher”.

Living in the College Area, we have our share of College Kid problems too. Although Rolando Village is just far enough away from SDSU to avoid the worst of the partying and noise, we still have a lot of college kids in the area.

The biggest problem we’ve had is the driving – SDSU kids like to tear-ass around the residential neighborhoods in their lifted trucks, despite the fact that we’ve got tons of little kids and seniors in the area. Thankfully, the City of San Diego heeded our call for more stop signs, and we’ve recently received three new stop signs on my block, which has made a noticeable difference.

There are 2 houses on my block which can be considered “Mini Dorms”. One is just a white trash family who rents their garage to any crackhead with enough cash to pay the rent. The other is a well-kept home with several “Cabanas” in the backyard that are popular with foreign students. The owners are a very nice gay couple and to date we have really had zero problems.

I do feel for the people close to SDSU. There are some blocks in El Cerrito and College View Estates that are nearly 100% college rentals. The city does have a program in place to target chronic party houses, which seems to work, but there is no legal limit on residents in a single family home. Past attempts at the city to enforce this have been struck down by the courts.

Mini-dorms raise ire of neighbors

Grassy Sassy

There is an enemy among us, and it is called Bermuda Grass.

One day, while mowing my lush, deep green lawn, I noticed a small patch of ‘fuzzy’ grass.  I thought “no big deal, it’s just grass, right?”. Wrong. It was Bermuda Grass.

3 months later, the small fuzzy patch has become a big fuzzy patch, and the battle to eliminate the invader has begun.

Bermuda Grass is a rhizome, meaning it actually grows laterally, beneath the soil.  It’s roots are hair-like strands which can extend up to 2 feet below the surface.  The Bermuda spreads laterally along the surface, propagating a mesh of woody roots on top of healthy turfgrasses (like my precious) tall fescue.

Bermuda can’t be removed by hand.  Believe me I tried – an hour of pulling might kill a square foot.  Kinda futile when you have 1000 square feet of grass.  Herbicidal options are few – most internet searches yield only the dreaded ‘nuclear option’ – kill the whole lawn  – Bermuda and all – with RoundUP and start over.

After much searching, I located a product called Ornamec, supposedly the only product that can kill Bermuda.  Extremely expensive and only available via landscaping product wholesalers, I have placed my hope and faith in this nasty juice.  Let’s hope it works!

Sassy’s list of banned furniture

As a new homeowner, the quest for proper home furnishings is a relentless pursuit. From antique stores to garage stores to Craigslist, the search continues. Here’s a quick list of furniture that is banned from Casa De Sassy, for your reading enjoyment.

  • Black lacquer furniture of any kind (single man alert)
  • ‘Entertainment Centers’ (why do people need these?)
  • Anything made of melamine, engineered wood, or particle board (lifespan: 3 years?)
  • 70’s era rounded oak bookshelves
  • Anything “tuscan” style or made of stone (for indoors… what is this, an ancient temple?)
  • Used couches or mattresses of any kind (gross)
  • Anything ‘vintage’. Vintage is a code word for ‘seventies’.
  • Anything made of green, grey, black, or purple leather. There are no teal cows.
  • Anything from Ikea. (lifespan: 1 year? See ‘particle board’)
  • ‘Shabby Chic’ furniture which is actually just shabby.
  • Futons of any kind (see ‘used mattresses’)
  • Papasan chairs and beanbags (seventies are over, kids)
  • Bamboo, Wicker or Rattan!
  • Asian-themed furniture of any kind.
  • Beds with integrated shelving or lighting.

BLACKJACK DAVEY

Black Jack David come ridin’ through the woods,
Singin’ so loud and merry
That the green hills all around him ring,
And he charmed the heart of a lady,
And he charmed the heart of a lady.

“How old are you, my pretty little miss,
How old are you, my lady?”
She answered him with a “Tee, bee, hee,
I’ll be sixteen next summer.”

“Come, go with me, my pretty little miss,
Come, go with me, my lady;
I’ll take you across the deep blue sea
Where you never shall want for money.

“Won’t you pull off those high heeled shoes
All made of Spanish leather;
Won’t you put on some low heeled shoes?
And we’ll ride off together.”

She soon pulled off those high heeled shoes
All made of Spanish leather;
She put on those low heeled shoes
And they rode off together.

‘Twas late at night when the land-lord come
Inquirin’ for his lady.
He was posted by a fair young maid:
“She’s gone with Black Jack David.”

“Go saddle me my noble steed,
Go bridle me my derby;
I’ll ride to the east, I’ll ride to the west,
Or overtake my lady.”

He rode till he came to the deep below;
The stream was deep and muddy.
Tears came tricklin’ down his cheeks,
For there he spied his lady.

“How can you leave your house and land,
How can you leave your baby,
How can you leave your husband dear
To go with Black Jack David?”

“Very well can I leave my house and land,
Very well can I leave my baby,
Much better can I leave my husband dear
To go with Black Jack David.

“I won’t t come back to you, my love,
Nor I won’t come back, my husband;
I wouldn’t give a kiss from David’s lips
For all your land and money.

“Last night I lay on a feather bed
Beside my husband and baby;
Tonight I lay on the cold damp ground
Beside the Black Jack David.”

She soon run through her gay clothing,
Her velvet shoes and stockings;
Her gold ring off her finger was gone,
And the gold plate off her bosom.

“Oh, once I had a house and land,
A feather bed and money,
But now I’ve come to an old straw pad,
With nothing but Black Jack David.”